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Eggnog or hot chocolate?

You know, I’ve never had Eggnog but it sounds just awful. I really do love Hot Chocolate with a little whip cream (okay, a lot) and chocolate shavings. This season I haven’t had any because my dairy issues of yore have resurfaced and I’m not sure the pain is worth the steaming mug of goodness. TMI? Moving on!

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree?
Hmm, no Santa, but if DMS and I are exchanging gifts (rarely) they are wrapped because that’s half the fun right there. Although to Fussbot we just gave the toy straight up. La-zy!

Colored lights on a tree or white?
I would prefer if all you light hangers used white light but sigh, I still drive by your house and oogle your colored lights. For the candles in our menorah, we use multi-colored candles and mix up the order every night. I know, we totally live on the edge.

Do you hang mistletoe?
I don’t get mistletoe AT ALL.

When do you put your decorations up?
No set day, but usually the day that Chanukah starts (meaning: we light candles at night so that afternoon I’ll put up decorations or turn on some holiday music.)

What is your favorite holiday dish?
Hot Latkes (potato pancakes) with sour cream. Mmmm.

When do you exchange presents? (Alert! Deviating from original MeMe!)
So we not huge gift givers but presents can be given any night, by any person. There is no rhyme or reason. Growing up it was usually the first night but since marrying DMS and spending 4 years living with extended family we would give the kids on one night, the adults on another, etc. Presents tend not to be huge things though I do remember one year getting a Lite Brite and that was pretty awesome.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
You know, I love a well decorated Christmas tree but I think though I would have a problem not going overboard with all the decorations I like. I like ornaments (themed preferably, I like ribbon, I like white lights, I like candy canes, I like a star on top, handmade things and even popcorn strings.

Snow: love it or hate it?
Love it for like 20 minutes, while I’m inside and like 4 while I’m outside.

Can you ice skate?
Years of lessons allow me to answer “poorly.”

What is your favorite holiday dessert?
COOKIES

What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Lighting candles and listening to Chanukah songs (growing up it was records, now its MP3s) eating latkes, playing dreidel for pennies, having parties with friends and families, sitting with family next to the menorah talking about what we love about Chanukah. See also: Driving around looking at the pretty houses all decked out for Christmas.

Candy canes: yum or yuck?
Yuck!

Favorite Christmas show?
They don’t make Chanukah shows. Lame asses.

Animal, Vegetable, Mineral

We continue with our weekly speech sessions and I honestly can’t say if they’re helping or not. The sessions are an hour long and Fussbot somewhat holds it together (with constant re-direction) for 45 minutes at which point he hits a wall, leaves the floor where we’re having the session and runs laps around the apartment while yelling. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? His speech is improving- it’s sort of a slow and steady progress which is good. Progress is always good. But that “burst of language” or progress “by leaps and bounds” that other parents talk of is nowhere to be seen. He still sticks to the sounds that he likes and knows. While his articulation of those sounds is getting better he is reticent to branch out to other, newer sounds or piece existing sounds into new combinations. This makes it hard to do things like, oh, build a vocabulary.

I was reading this blog today and it hit home. I want to talk to my kid like he’s a typical kid. Or more accurately, I want him to talk to me like a kid. His receptive language is very high, and I’ve always (correctly) believed that he understands everything I say to him. I just don’t get that much back. He’ll as “What’s that” 3,4509,7239,4898 times a day but I know it’s a ploy for me to point out objects he cant say but wants to talk about.* Its like living with a parrot. He asks, I answer, he asks the same thing again.

Today was a particularly frustrating day and let’s just say that I wasn’t exactly channeling Mother Theresa. He was cranky (teething? tired? bored? frustrated? Operating instructions, please!) and wouldn’t give me a yes or no to any question I asked. I realize that he may not have known the answer, or the answer was too hard for him to explain but I just wished he could tell me what he wanted, or part of what he wanted so I didn’t feel like my toddler was melting down every ten minutes and I playing charades with him each time. Two words! First word! Sounds like…?

The speech lady gave me a packet after the first meeting on how to talk to your child to encourage speech. I read it, realized how much we weren’t doing right, and tried to change things. It’s hard because you have these speech patterns and you don’t even know they are there. But then you have to change them and be consistent and lord its hard to keep up. That sounds so lame, but it’s true. It’s making something that is mostly subconscious a conscious task. It’s so easy to slip into old habits, which I do often. She asks if I’ve read it every time which just tells me I’m messing up again and I feel worse.

I love my son and every night before bed I tell him how proud I am of him and what an awesome day he had. I want to be able to share more with him, to know what he thinks about his cars, what questions he has about his world, what those long sentences of babble actually mean, if he wants to stay at the library and play or if he’s ready to go home. He talks but he doesn’t. I know but I don’t. We’ll keep trying until we get there. Please let it be soon.

*How he managed to pick up “what’s that” when he can’t even say “more” is beyond all of us. But he did and its his signature phrase these days.

Neighbors

I think I’ve mentioned before that we live in a an apartment building. Our unit is well located in that we only have neighbors on one side and right above us. We rarely hear noise from our next door apartment and our hallway is always quiet (I’m sure our neighbors would say that they rarely hear noise except for that damn kid who runs through the hallway yelling.) So I can’t really say that we have noise issues, except: our upstairs neighbor is an angry mean man. I don’t hear him often, but when he gets upset, he yells. Very loudly. He also says mean, awful things to whomever he is living with. I hear him faintly while I’m in the kitchen and most of all I hear him loudly through the vent in Fussbot’s bathroom.

Today, while he was demeaning the target of his tirade, I debated whether or not to call the building office (located in our lobby). I don’t like to butt into other people’s domestic life and since I could hear every word he was saying, I am fairly certain no one was in physical danger but it made me very uncomfortable to hear. As silly as it seems, I also didn’t want Fussbot listening to it (even if was sleeping.)

So what would you do? Wait until the next time he yells and call the office to let them know about a noise issue? Do you think that would make it worse? He seems like the kind of man to blame the other person for getting him angry and causing him to yell. I don’t want to stir things up. Should I let it go and just chalk it up to communal living?

Oh The Thinks You Can Think

I've been doing a lot of thinking and here's what I thinks:

1. I’m on the final week of another free-lance project. Its going well-ish though there have definitely been days when I think (a) I suck at this; (b) they suck at this; (c) why am I even doing this; and (d) please hire me again. I find that when I have these projects I need certain infrastructure to be readily available for that time period but not anytime else. Meaning: A desk chair would be nice. Child care for another 3-4 hours a day would mean the difference between starting work at 8pm and starting work at 3pm. Wireless internet that didn’t freakin’ conk out on me mid meeting would be nice. Patience would be nice(that might be needed other times too). But really, it’s the child care that’s the kicker. Our monthly budget doesn’t allow for 3-4 hours of childcare 4 days a week. Though I’m working, I only get paid post facto which means the cash isn’t there for the sitter when I need her. So I work in the morning during day care and during nap time but those hours from 3-7 when I’m awake and would like to do a few more things (so I’m not up all hours) are lost because there is a small snuggly person asking “mommy?” and offering the chance to play cars on the floor and really, it beats the hell out of thinking about sales strategy any day.

2. I thinks I have pink eye. It could just be a cold in my eye (I’ve heard that exists and doesn’t require eye drops) but my contact was bothering me all day and when I finally thought to look in the mirror it looks remarkably like the last time I had pink eye.

3. I thinks vision insurance is a scam. We have what is considered a decent vision plan and I can’t get fitted for contacts without it costing me at least $100. I think my contacts are perhaps not the right size but its easier and cheaper for me just to be “eh” about it than get it taken care of. I don’t really like putting off health related issues but I know its not major (was fine when I got fitted 6 years ago but last eye exam guy said maybe I should change a size, but eyes feel fine- pink eye excluded.) I don’t wear eyeglasses, I don’t need an eyeglasses exam yearly, I need a contact fitting! I don’t even use the insurance to buy contacts since its cheaper without it!

4. I thinks I don’t like popcorn. Its what I had for dinner (shhh, it’s a vegetable) and though the smell is wonderful you end up with kernals and bit all stuck around your mouth. Gross.

5. I have memories of Chanukah that include listening to records that my parents had of Chanukah songs, having Latke eating contests with my dad, always taking a picture with the lit candles and playing dreidel for pennies. I’m am totally sucking in the mom department this year because we’re barely scrapping by. I keep saying Fussbot doesn’t know and won’t remember but at some point you have to start doing things for them to become tradition and establish memories. There are days when wish I was one of those mom-bots who was uber organized, planned everything ahead of time, decorated the house tastefully and baked cookies.

6. My kid keeps growing. No seriously, he’s like tall now. But more importantly, all the clothes I bought thinking he’d wear through the winter are small or getting small quickly. I had to buy new stuff which was all 2T. Here’s my question: How is there no size between 2T and 3T? Do they not grow for a year? I know the growth rate slows down but it doesn’t seem right that these clothes are going to last a year. I wondering why no 2.5T.

7. The day care teachers tell me how wonderful Fussbot is and how smart he is and how much they love him so I told my mom that and here’s what she said:

Mom: “They said he was smart?”

Me: “Yeah, they kept saying it.”

Mom: “Well that’s wrong.”

Me: “Whhhat?”

Her argument was that if they say it to one parent, they should say it to all. Its not right to only say it to some. Despite the ridiculousness of that statement, I take what they say with a great big grain of salt because I’m sure they say it to everyone. But at the same time it also felt nice to hear that they like him so much.

8. I would like someone to explain the cookie tray phenomena to me. Why do you give cookie trays? Do you expect one back? Is it instead of a gift? Is it for people you wouldn’t give a gift to but want to acknowledge during the holiday season? Do you include cookies that you don’t bake any other time of year?

9. I had the "No Shit" thought of the day that little kids are hard work because of the constancy of the work required. Even if they're napping, there is still work to be done related to them and that makes me really weary. I wonder how old they have to be before some of that constancy eases up. Don't say 18.

Parting thought: I once had a roommate who ate so many baby carrots her palms turned orange. True story!

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum

As someone who doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas* I am always amazed at how busy I find this time of year. I don’t have a lot of family obligations, I’m not hosting or preparing any large meals that I wouldn’t normally be doing, I don’t have to prepare or send out Christmas cards, I have minimal if any gift buying to do, and I don’t have to decorate our house/front yard. While we celebrate Chanukah, as Jewish holidays go it’s actually one with minimal ritual and less stature than our other holidays. Its proximity to Christmas gives it a little more visibility but other than lighting candles, saying the blessings, singing a couple of songs and playing dreidel Chanukah doesn’t actually take up that much of our night.

So what have we been doing? Home Freakin Improvements. Though we had solid plans each day over the Thanksgiving weekend (trips to the aquarium and Children’s museum plus afternoons and dinners with friends) there was also a lot of time after Fussbot went to bed that DMS and I were twiddling our thumbs thinking of what to do and there is only so much law and order a person can watch. So, we caved and cleaned out the linen/china closet, the front hall/storage room closet and the toiletries/towel/extra stuff closet. We also collected and dropped off a bunch of stuff at the goodwill center and bought these to minimize the space Fussbot’s old clothes are taking up in his closet.** We still have to work on the kitchen and the front hall coat/food closet but slowly, the house is being de-crappified.

Last year (and I fully plan on doing it again this year), I spent the time between Christmas and New Years printing all the pictures from the past year and organizing them in albums. It took me a full two weeks last year as I include ticket stubs, use photo tape on the pictures and date each event so the album is more like a memory book of the year. I don’t do scrapbooky things with stickers or paper cut outs but I like to have more than just pictures in sleeves. I hope that one day my kids will look through them and remember all the trips, outings and fun that we had and be amazed the little things like the price of tickets (or tickets on paper), or the look of our car or how funny our hair was.

The other thing I find myself doing is packing on the blubber for winter. I’m busy ingesting hot coco with whip cream (and extra chocolate shavings, please!), making and dreaming of hearty beef soups, cooking dishes that involve potatoes and more potatoes, and watching Love Actually. I’m also listening to lite FM which has switched over to all Christmas music all the time. Let me just say that I can go verse to verse with you on most of the holiday classics. So what are you doing this holiday season? What’s keeping you busy?

*My mom is foreign and my dad grew up with very religious parents who didn’t believe in celebrating non-Jewish holidays. DMS has foreign born parents and didn’t grow up celebrating Thanksgiving either. Freaks, I know.

**What do you guys do with the clothes your kid outgrows? What if you’re saving it for possible future children? Where do you put it all?

Lightly Salted

So we’re staying home for Thanksgiving this year. I’m fine with that. Sort of. Mostly. Kind of. Ish. I really hate travelling over Thanksgiving (really travel in general) when the airports are congested and the flights full and its only a long weekend and everything is just more CRAMPED and BUSY and EXPENSIVE and yeah, I’d rather stay home. But the thing is, everyone else travels and so staying home gets kind of lonely because there are no play dates, there are no babysitters, there are no other people to hang out with and it’s a looooong weekend. I think had our bank account had a few more zeros in it this month, we would have loved to go away somewhere fun for the holiday. But since the greenbacks aren’t flowing (or rather, are flowing away rapidly) we’re going to be hitting up the aquarium on Thursday and the Children’s museum on Friday. It’s also supposed to snow and be cold and gray and ass-like so I’m sure we’ll also visit the bookstore, Petco and every other indoor activity I can think of. (Didn’t think going Petco was an activity? Clearly you haven’t tried it.)

Growing up we never celebrated Thanksgiving and neither did DMS’ family. We have done a big Thanksgiving meal a few times but don’t really feel tied to it. Also, we have 2 big meals a week (Friday night and Saturday Lunch) in celebrating our Sabbath so we’re good on the calorie front. I think this year we’re having hot dogs.

Speaking of Seasonal Affect Disorder (weren’t we?, we were, yes) I think that we need those special lamps installed on the ceiling of our living room. The endless winter has barely begun and already I’m feeling the need for copious amounts of chips n salsa as well as going to bed at 9pm. Hibernation here I come! DMS made some mention of fighting lethargy with exercise and I laughed so hard my side hurt, and then I claimed that as exercise. More chips, please!

So we’re doing great over here. Hope you have wonderful Thanksgiving!

Hermitary

I had a bummer of a morning today. First, one of my pyrex baking dishes fell out of the fridge and shattered on the floor. I thought that pyrex would only break into big pieces but this was shards and little slivers everywhere. The mess was compounded by the fact that the dish had cold, cooked salmon in it and that splattered as well. I cleaned up the mess and hurried Fussbot out the door so we could get to music class on time. Lately I haven’t been feeling the class so much- its very repetitive and the ladies that I used to be friendly with have been a little less so. I refuse to skip a class that I’ve paid for so I’m kind of just waiting it out until the end of the session and then I think we’ll say good bye to our dear teacher and move onto another class (gymnastics?)

During class the daughter of one of my friends slapped Fussbot on the head rather hard. She’s always touching his hair and face and while it would annoy me to no end, Fussbot doesn’t seem to mind so I don’t say anything. Today though the hit was hard enough to make a slapping sound and without thinking about it I (possibly too harshly) said “NO HITTING.” Now I know that its not cool to discipline someone else’s child and that no matter what, the other parent isn’t going to think you’re right but (a) it slipped out and (b) I see this kid every day, they are our neighbors and we’re close with them (c) she hit my kid. So the mom turns to me from across the circle and starts yelling at me. Why did I yell at her kid? She’s just petting? What was my problem? Why would I do that? And on. It was so embarrassing. Then there were the dirty looks for the rest of class.

I felt a little more justified when the girl made another student in the class cry (twice) by hitting him. After class, when I was putting on my shoes on the girl started hitting my head. Her mother stood by and didn’t say anything, so I sweetly said that I would appreciate if she didn’t hit my head, k’thanks.

I was so bothered during and after class. I don’t know why I keep having a kerfuffle with this one friend and why it keeps bothering me so much. DMS asked why I can’t let it go and just move on and I don’t have a good answer. I would love to be all “whatever” about it and move on but I just can’t. I feel like when things are weird with her its hard for me to hang out with the rest of the gang and frankly I don’t have that many friend options besides them. Life would be so much easier if I were a hermit.