Baby, Baby, Family

So people showed up to the baby group. We had 6 people show up (plus two people emailed me that day to say that they were planning on coming but their kids were sick) and it was a lot less awkward then I thought. The instructor was a little out there but she did a good job of explaining the massage techniques and sent us home with a laminated massage/yoga routine (with explanations) that we could do at home with the kids.

The session was definitely better for kids who were less mobile. Fussbot was so excited to be in just a diaper and have new toys at his disposal that he spent most of the class either playing with an assortment of cars while I rubbed his back with moisturizer or crawling over to the instructor and stealing the bear she was using as her pretend baby. The other moms seemed to have a very good time and we all sat around being chatty afterwards (which I was more excited about than the massage part) plus some good ideas for future sessions were tossed out. Plus I met some people that I didn’t know and DMS and I are having them over for lunch on Saturday!

All in all it hasn’t been that hard to organize things. Its been some phone calls, a lot of email, working with the synagogue but nothing I couldn’t do during naptime or for an hour or so in the evening. I have to say that it has been really nice to have a project to work on- something that isn’t home-focused, something that gets me talking to other people, something that is a little different from my usual routine.
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I took Fussbot to this indoor play space on Monday and there was a 4 year old (I think he was that old, he was talking in full sentences and seemed to be little big for the toy cars) who glommed onto us and wouldn’t leave. There were only 2 other kids there but Fussbot was totally shy and timid, which is very unusual for him. I kind of expected him to go hog wild with all the different play areas in the room and new toys to explore, but he didn’t really seem to want to play with anything and got nervous if I walked away. I don’t know if it was the bigger kid, acting wildly who made him skittish, but I was very surprised by his behavior. When I told DMS about it, he said that it was times like this that he wished Fussbot was in daycare where he would have more social interaction with other kids of differing ages. The comment made me feel badly- was I not setting up enough activities with Fussbot and other kids? Was being home not the best route for him? Was he going to be shy because he doesn’t play with enough other kids?

I talked to friends who have their son in daycare near our house. Most everyone we know send their kids to this daycare and it has a strong reputation. I asked her how much it cost and I was blown away by what she said- $1800/month (over $21,000 a year!) Is this how much daycare costs where you live? Is it more expensive because we are in the city and there are fewer options? I knew daycare was expensive but I had no idea. Wow.
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My cousin (who had a baby back in August) is in Montreal visiting her family for a month. My mom is going out there over Christmas to visit and my cousin emailed me to ask if I would consider coming as well. I like my cousin but we have sort of an on again/off again relationship. We had a rough couple years awhile back but since we both have kids close in age, I think we are both trying to make more of an effort.

My dad is planning on visiting us over Christmas because my mom will be in Montreal. With my parents new-found separate lives, I feel like if I change my plans and go to Montreal with my mom, my dad’s feelings will be hurt. I worry that my mom will be annoyed that I’m not putting in an effort with her family (a common complaint from her) and that either way someone is going to be annoyed with me.

So you can see why I was a little peeved with this last minute invite from my cousin. We had talked about her trip before and if she was so keen on seeing me I felt like she could have asked then and this whole situation would have been avoided. I didn’t mention it because I thought she wanted to spend the time with her family whom she rarely sees. I didn’t want to swoop in and steal the spotlight, because I know she’s sensitive to that. I feel like the last minute invite puts me in an awkward place. I would like to see them, meet their baby, have them meet Fussbot but the way December works out, I have very few free weekends and I don’t think it’s going to happen. It’s a little sad but I think I’m going to say no. What would you do?