The Tortise and the Hare

I took Fussbot for his 15month checkup this week. After we check in, we are asked to fill out a questionnaire about out kid before we see the doctor. The form asks about developmental milestones, eating and sleeping, emotional growth milestones and is generally no big deal. Under the concerns area I wrote “lack of any words” and I checked no for the “says 3-6 words, clearly.” I was being honest.

I had brought up with the doctor once before (I think at his 9 month checkup) that I didn’t feel like he made a lot of sounds. He was a fairly quiet kid. He interacted well, he liked to engage with other people, he was curious and active- but he just didn’t seem like he was making big steps towards talking. Since then I really tried to bring out his speech: I ask questions and wait for a response before telling him the answer, I don’t correct his labeling of objects, but I say the correct name right after, I sing with him, I tell him about every. single. thing. we are doing/going/seeing/hearing/feeling etc. I think all of this has certainly helped, he babbles and makes sounds for cars, but there are no words. And there are plenty of times when he’s still a quiet kid.

So I talked to the doctor mostly because I wanted her to tell me that he’s fine and I shouldn’t worry. Instead, she gave me a referral to the county for a speech evaluation. Whoa there. I don’t know if she thought that I was looking for that but as soon as she whipped out the prescription pad I started getting really defensive which just made things worse. What if I want to wait another month? Why can’t we assume that he’s just a later talker and that he’s fine? I don’t want to be the parent with the 15 month old in therapy for no reason. I don’t want to over therapize (really, I made up the word.) And she tried to calm me by saying “I’m sure he’s fine, but if there is an issue, its better to catch it early. You can wait, but if he doesn’t have 6-10 words by 18 month I’m going to push for the evaluation.

So I told her I would think about it. I made no firm commitments. I really didn’t know what to do. I called my friend Goose on the way home. She’s a speech and language pathologist who specializes in early childhood speech problems. She was pretty surprised that the doctor whipped out the referral and said that (a) based on her interactions with Fussbot that she didn’t think there were any issues of concern and (b) that his “issues” were still well within the normal bell curve that the county was not going to do anything for me. DMS felt the doctor was relying too much on standards and rubrics and not enough on general feeling and experience (the doctor, is probably in her late 30s). He was very against the evaluation and kinda pissed at the doctor. My other friend with two kids who have received speech therapy said to get the evaluation because its summer, things are less busy and at 18 month, the school year will be starting and the speech pathologists will be so much more busy that it’ll take 2 month for an initial evaluation and he could be 20-24 by the time anything gets moving and that’s a different story than a quiet 15 month old.

My inclination is to wait. Yes I harbor deep dark fears that he’s not going to talk for a long, long time. I fear that his lack of speech will cause frustration, acting out and hardship. Yes I want the best for my kid. Yes I want him to be the best Fussbot he can be. Yes I Google “speech delay” and try every tactic I can find to get him to say something. Anything. One single word. Please. But I feel like I just have to wait, at least a little longer. I know the little boy who wants to tell me about all the trucks outside the window is in there, and he will tell me great stories. I just have to wait for him to be ready. I wait with baited breath.