I’ve been having a series of conversations with my parents about what I’m “going to do with my life.” As my dad pointed out a few weeks ago, I still have 30-35 years left in the workforce, I might as well make them count. I had another interview last week for a job that I know I could do well but wasn’t exactly qualified for. I have a hunch I’m not making the cut for the second round (somewhat relieved because I only own one suit) and I don’t blame them but at the same time I’m a little disappointed- I coulda been a contender, I coulda been somebody.*
My parents are panicking, they think I’m wasting my life away, that I’m going to wake up one day 50 years old without any possibility of employment or fulfillment. They worry that the longer I stay home, the more I’ll be typecast as a “mom” rather than a “worker bee” in an interview. I’ll admit to you that I have thought these thoughts too, that I have panicked about them as well but I disagree with their suggestions (go back to school for an MBA, go to law school, get a job with a consulting company). The problem, I don’t have any alternative suggestions.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (which I’m feeling like happened already). I need career help. Aaackk! Am angst ridden teen with no direction! At least I have better skin- no wait, I don’t even have that right now.
Sigh. Part of me feels like I should just get a job doing something. But then I think that I always wanted a career and I should focus on getting one off the ground. Part of me thinks we need money now and that I should get a job doing something just to bring in additional income. Part of me thinks that if I find a temporary job I’ll never leave it because I’m change-resistant like that. Part of me wants another baby. Part of me thinks that having one will totally thwart any attempts at a job for another year, if not more. All of me doesn’t know what to do.
I feel like I’ve posted about this so many times already, that I’m going around and around with the same thoughts, stuck in a cycle of indecision. But really I just don’t know what the best answer is. I know there isn’t one right answer but I’m getting to the point where I need some answer.
*Never actually seen Rocky- any of them!
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3 comments:
When I get to that point, I usually just DO something just to be doing and then think about it later.
I know. Totally random and not helpful in the least, but that's what I actually do.
You could always do what George Costanza did in that one Seinfeld episode where he did the opposite of what he had always done...that worked out pretty well for him.
I could have written this post (except without the good grammar and with the second baby already OOPS.)
(Oh and I've seen all the Rocky movies though I can't tell you why.)
What I'm going to try to do, when I crawl out of my I-have-an-infant hole, is get a job that a.) makes money AND b.) is at least a little step in my quest to figure out what I want to do with my life. (I've been a massage therapist/Pilates instructor for a long time and think I may want to go to school to either get a PT degree or a kineasiology degree so I may look for a job in a PT clinic. etc. etc. BORING ETC.)
Let us know how it goes!
What struck me most as I was reading this is that your parents are worried that you're wasting your life.
I know that you know this - but sometimes it's good to hear it from an outside source: no matter what, EQ, you're not wasting your life. You have a beautiful little boy who adores you. And you're raising him and taking care of him. He's certainly a very nice achievement.
I hope this doesn't come off weirdly - I've been thinking about it ever since I read the post a few days ago, but have been trying to think how best to comment. And that's really what I wanted to say - that no matter what, don't let anyone tell you that what you're doing right now is a waste in any way. Because it's not.
I know that you want to get back out there in the workforce, and I'm certainly not saying that there's anything wrong with that at all - I'm just trying to tell you that regardless of what you do otherwise - your role as a mom to Fussbot is always going to be important.
Hang in there. Things change for each of us in every single minute. And we'll never be complete, never be done growing up. It isn't a destination - it's a journey.
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